put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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