i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
