I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
