Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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