All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
