I am spending my child support on dildos
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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