Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
