if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
