Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
