She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
