yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize