yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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