i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize