Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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