I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
