Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
