I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we're making bets on your personal life
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
