yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
