why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
