My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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