Your tits are I can't wait for
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
