Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
