I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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