nut hugger
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
