she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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