Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
