Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize