you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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