Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize