Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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