No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
