Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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