My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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