i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
