my vag is so smooth its legendary
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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