Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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