It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
