What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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