dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
