Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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