I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
