Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize