So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
