Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
