Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
