If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
