This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
