Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
