The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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