Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
