we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
