i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
