getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
