she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm at about main and main street
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
