I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize