i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
