would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
