I faked an abortion last night.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
