so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize