Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
