she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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