Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
