he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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