just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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