SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
