She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
this will be a night to untag.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
